Two days following Halloween, my boys wake up and are still so eager to run downstairs and count the delicious, sugar-filled pieces of their Halloween agglomeration. This morning something very profound struck my heart. My littlest boy, Ben, was counting his candy. Both boys had received several gummy eyeballs. Benjamin had already devoured his and was staring, longingly, at Noah's uneaten bodily remains. The thought that crossed my mind was that I would be removing a little candy caper from our living room, but I was caught off guard by what happened. Benjamin wrapped his sweet, soft little boy hands around his candy pile and with as much love in his heart as he could muster he pushed the entire pile over to Noah. "Here Noah." He said. "I'd like to give you all the pieces of my candy."
It's not just the words, but it's how he said it. There was no joking reference, no sarcasm, no disdain. It was whole-hearted, authentic generosity. Something that, as many mothers know, can be a pretty extraordinary emotion in a 3 year old boy. My heart blew up with elation as Benjamin made his offering to his big brother. Then, within the same heartbeat, my jaw dropped to the floor as Noah grappled at the candy pieces and pulled them out of Ben's hands without so much as a thank you. To make matters worse, Benjamin then tried to retrieve one piece of the candy for himself and Noah immediately grabbed it out of his hand claiming his right to ownership. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Mama Bears need to protect their cubs, even from each other. I hope my roar didn't come out audibly as loud as it was in my heart.
Needless to say, Noah got a lesson in thankfulness this morning. I'm not a big fan of those touchy-feely, Full House lectures. Mr. Tanner sits down with Stephanie and DJ while soft, nurturing music fills the background...not really my style. But, how does one teach thankfulness?? We should embody this quality year round, but during the season of Thanksgiving, isn't it the perfect time to highlight this lesson and try to teach our little ones to hold it in their hearts?
This world can be so ungrateful, full of entitlement and greed. As dismal a portrait as I just painted, there is another side to the coin. There are people who give, adamantly and whole-heartedly, just like my Benjamin. How do we teach our children to do the same? Just as important, how do we teach our children to have hearts full of thankfulness and joy!? I think it's important for us to call our children out when they are demonstrating poor qualities of the heart and not just let it slide by, labeling it as a "phase" or making the excuse that they don't understand their actions. It goes beyond teaching manners. Lessons of the heart strike much deeper. I want this world to be a better place when my children grow up. I want there to be more love and less hate, more giving and less taking, more God and less "people pleasing". This time of Thanksgiving should be just that. I'd like to work on my heart this season to think less of myself and to be joyful and grateful for all that I have and have been given. I'm going to bring my children into this celebration! I'm going teach them how to be grateful, by first reminding myself how to be grateful.
There's an old lesson about a plane going down. When the oxygen masks drop, you place one on yourself first, so you are fully capable of assisting those around you. I think we need to work on our own hearts. Our children will see that, as they tend to see EVERYTHING... even the crud. This Thanksgiving season, I pray for all of us that our hearts will be filled with the good stuff. Let's not just BE grateful, let's ACT grateful. The lessons begin small with Halloween candy. It's this mom's hope that when the lessons get big, my children will carry thankfulness in their hearts and no act of kindness will go unrecognized. Big or small.
